Why Dogs and Cats are better than children...
1) Eat less and don't ask for money all the time
2) Are easier to train and normally come when called
3) Don't smoke or drink
4) Don't want to wear your clothes
5) If they get pregnant, you can sell their children
My husband works as a service technician for a large exterminating company. One of the rules of the company is that he has to confirm each appointment by phone the night before his service call to that household.
One evening he made such a call, and when a man answered the phone, he said, "Hi, this is Gary from A to Z Pest Control Company. Your wife phoned us."
There was a long silence, and then my husband heard the man on the other end say, "Honey, it's for you... someone wants to talk to you about your relatives."