A man brings his best buddy home for dinner unannounced at 6:30PM after work.
His wife screams at him while his friend sits and listens in.
"My hair and makeup are not done, the house is a mess, the dishes are not done, I am still in my pajamas and I can't be bothered with cooking tonight! Why the heck did you bring him home?"
Calmly the husband replies, "Because he's thinking of getting married and I promised him a demo."
Jeff had gone to propose to his girlfriend and returned home crying bitterly. "What happened, son?" his father asked, eagerly awaiting her response. "Did she accept?"
"No, she sure didn't," sobbed Jeff. "When I told her what you advised me to say, she slapped my face and told me to get out."
"Did you begin by telling her what I told you to say, what I told your mother when she accepted my proposal? 'Sweetheart, time stands still when I look in your eyes.' Did you tell her that?" asked his father.
"Oh boy, Dad, did I got it all wrong," Jeff groaned. "I said, 'My dear, you have a face that would stop a clock!'"