Best Jokes

1 votes
 

On their 25th wedding anniversary, a husband took his wife out to dinner. Their teenage daughters said they'd have dessert waiting for them when they returned.

After the couple got home, they saw that the dining room table was beautifully set with china, crystal and candles, and there was a note that read: "Your dessert is in the refrigerator. We are staying with friends, so go ahead and do something we wouldn't do!"

"I suppose," the husband responded, "we could vacuum."

1 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
posted by "HENNE" |
1 votes

A man was the first to arrive at work one morning. The phone rang and he answered. When the caller asked for some specific information, the man explained that it was before normal business hours but that he would help if he could.

"What's your job there?" the caller asked.

The man replied, "I'm the company president."

There was a pause. Then the caller said, "I'll call back later. I need to talk to someone who knows something about what's going on."

1 votes

CATEGORY Business Jokes
posted by "HENNE" |
1 votes
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Pro tip: if you add coconut oil to your kale...

It makes it easier to scrape it into the trash.

1 votes

CATEGORY Food Jokes
posted by "Kate Jones" |
1 votes

A dog ran into a butcher shop and grabbed a roast off the counter.

Fortunately, the butcher recognized the dog as belonging to a neighbor of his. The neighbor happened to be a lawyer.

Incensed by the theft, the butcher called up his neighbor and said, "If your dog stole a roast from my butcher shop, would you be liable for the cost of the meat?"

The lawyer replied, "Of course. How much was the roast?"

"$7.98," said the butcher.

A few days later, the butcher received a check in the mail for $7.98. Attached to it was an invoice that read, Legal Consultation Service: $150.

1 votes

CATEGORY Lawyer Jokes
posted by "HENNE" |