Best Jokes

2 votes

Why do Gorillas have big nostrils?

Because they have big fingers!

2 votes

CATEGORY Animal Jokes
posted by "lilsteve" |
$8.00 won 2 votes

Two cannibals decided to go mountain climbing. They gathered up their gear, and in case they got hungry they packed up a bunch of body parts to munch on. Things were going quite well until they reached a crevice in the trail they were on. Even though it was only 3 feet wide, looking down they saw that it was a 1000 foot drop to the bottom.

"I suppose we could try to jump across, it's only 3 feet," said Rasheed.

"I don't think that's wise," replied Anwar. "One slip, and it's certain death. Wait! I have an idea!" Rustling through his knapsack, he grabs a severed leg and lays it across the gaping fissure.

"What are you planning to do with that?" asked Rasheed.

Answered Anwar, "I'm going out on a limb!"

2 votes

posted by "Alan Valentine" |
2 votes

A blonde asked someone what time it was, and they told her it was 4:45. The blonde, with a puzzled look on her face replied, “You know, it’s the weirdest thing, I have been asking that question all day, and each time I get a different answer.”

2 votes

posted by "Bob Mc Crob" |
2 votes

Here are the top 10 signs you may be an Internet Geek...

10. When filling out your driver's license application you give your IP address.

9. You no longer ask prospective dates what their sign is, instead your line is "Hi, what's your URL?"

8. Instead of calling you to dinner, your spouse sends e-mail.

7. You're amazed to find out spam is a food.

6. You "ping" people to see if they're awake, "finger" and "AYT" them to make sure they're listening to you.

5. You search the Net endlessly hoping to win every silly free T-shirt contest.

4. You introduce your wife as "my lady@home.wife" and refer to your children as "client applications".

3. At social functions you introduce your husband as "my domain server".

2. After winning the office super bowl pool you blurt out, "I feel so "colon-right parentheses!"

And the number one sign you are an Internet Geek:

1. Two Words: "Pizza's Here!"

2 votes

posted by "merk" |