I was walking down an alley last night, when I heard, "Help! Help!" coming from behind a dumpster. Two thugs were trying to steal an old lady's handbag, but she was putting up a hell of a fight and wouldn't let go.
I wondered if I should get involved, or keep walking and pretend I didn't see anything. I finally decided that I should help.
It didn't take the three of us very long to get her handbag.
My wife and I have very different body clocks. At sundown she is practically ready for bed. I, meanwhile, am a night owl.
Recently, after a long, hard workday, I announced around 8 p.m. that I was exhausted and ready to hit the sack. Suddenly my wife nearly leapt into my arms.
"Oh, honey," she purred into my ear, "I just love it when you talk early to me."
I had an appointment with my cardiologist yesterday and on his door it read 8 to 5.
I left immediately!
Why?
I have to have better odds than that.
I tripped on my wife's bra in the bedroom, turns out it was a booby trap.