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Favorite this joke "I received a half dozen really cool ties for my birthday. I guess I'm going to tie one on."
His wife shook her head and said, "Just don't wake me up when you get home!"
When my wife and I were vacationing in the eastern part of our state, our car's license plate was stolen.
We planned to go to a local office for a replacement, but then we discovered that our registration had expired.
The new one was at home in a pile of mail. After much thought, we came up with a solution. Taping a sign over the empty license plate space on the rear of the vehicle, we made the eight-hour trip home safely.
Not a single state trooper stopped us, but many passing motorists took great pains to honk and wave at us.
Our sign read "Just Married!"
"Darling, I just called to tell you how awesome you are. You really are the love of my life…"
"Sir, I’m sorry, this is a brewery!"
"Oh, I know…"
Brendan had spent a week visiting his family in Kentucky. His sister-in-law and seven-year-old nephew went with him when he returned to the airport. After verifying his seat number with the counter attendant, Brendan walked back to his relatives and stated that he'd have to wait an additional three hours in the airport.
"How come?" his nephew asked.
"My plane has been grounded," Brendan explained.
"Grounded?" the little boy said. "I didn't know planes had parents."
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