As I get older, I notice that my wife and my hamstrings have a lot in common.
They're both inflexible.
My wife has evil lessons with Satan every week...
I don’t know how much she charges.
A boy and his father go together for a boys’ day out at the zoo.
“Daddy, I don't like how that hyena is looking at me from behind that glass, it's quite scary!” says the boy.
“Shush, Jason, this is only the ticket office!”
"I received a half dozen really cool ties for my birthday. I guess I'm going to tie one on."
His wife shook her head and said, "Just don't wake me up when you get home!"