Why was Mickey Mouse in space?
Why else, he was looking for Pluto.
Why do Gorillas have big nostrils?
Because they have big fingers!
Two cannibals decided to go mountain climbing. They gathered up their gear, and in case they got hungry they packed up a bunch of body parts to munch on. Things were going quite well until they reached a crevice in the trail they were on. Even though it was only 3 feet wide, looking down they saw that it was a 1000 foot drop to the bottom.
"I suppose we could try to jump across, it's only 3 feet," said Rasheed.
"I don't think that's wise," replied Anwar. "One slip, and it's certain death. Wait! I have an idea!" Rustling through his knapsack, he grabs a severed leg and lays it across the gaping fissure.
"What are you planning to do with that?" asked Rasheed.
Answered Anwar, "I'm going out on a limb!"
A blonde asked someone what time it was, and they told her it was 4:45. The blonde, with a puzzled look on her face replied, “You know, it’s the weirdest thing, I have been asking that question all day, and each time I get a different answer.”