Best Jokes

I don't believe in reincarnation...

I didn't believe in it the last time, either.

A lion was walking in the jungle and met two men. One is sitting on a rock reading a book and the other is working at a typewriter.

The lion ate only one. Which one and why?

He ate the man reading the book because everyone knows that reader's digest and writer's cramp.

A teacher was asking her class: "What is the difference between 'unlawful' and 'illegal'?"

Only one hand shot up.

"Ok, answer, Joan," said the teacher.

"'Unlawful' is when you do something the law doesn't allow and 'illegal' is an eagle that's sick."

Little Johnny's mother is making lunch when Johnny comes in from playing outside, covered in dirt.

"Johnny, you need to clean up for dinner," his mother says, looking at his left hand. "I've never seen a hand so filthy."

"Then you haven't seen this one," Johnny replies, holding up his right hand.