One week before her wedding, a mother pulls aside her daughter (and bride-to-be). She says, "I will now give you the advice that has been passed down from generation to generation, from woman to woman."
The daughter listened attentively, curious as to what the advice would be.
The mom continued, "Cook a man a fish and you feed him for a day. But teach a man to fish, and you get rid of him for the whole weekend."
When I was a newly commissioned Lieutenant in the Army, I was assigned as a temporary assistant in an administrative office in a Military Intelligence unit. One day a long compliance form came around with a cover sheet instructing all assigned officers to read it and initial it as indication of their compliance. So I read and initialed it.
A few days later, it came back addressed specifically to me. An attached note read, "You are not permanently assigned to this unit. Thus, you are not an authorized signer and you should not be initialing this form. Now please erase your initials and then initial your erasure."
There was a terrible automobile accident. A family of four was killed and their pet chimpanzee was the only survivor.
The investigators were trying to figure out what happened when one of them had an idea. "I understand chimps are very intelligent. Some of them can use sign language. Let's try it. What was the mother doing?" he asked.
The chimp put up one hand for a mirror and with the other pretended to put on lipstick. "She was putting on lipstick!" he exclaimed.
Pleased that they were communicating, he continued the questioning. "What were the kids doing?" The chimp put up his fists and punched the air. "They were fighting!" The chimp nodded.
"What was the father doing?" The chimp tipped back his head and raised his hand as if drinking from a bottle. "Drinking! The father was drinking!"
"And what were you doing?" he asked the chimp. With intense concentration the chimp peered straight ahead and grabbed the imaginary steering wheel.