Best Jokes

After picking up food for his daughter's cat, George spied a new bowl for the pet and grabbed it too.

"Shall I have the cat's name written on the side of the bowl?" offered the store owner.

"No, don't bother," replied George. "He can't read anyway."

A guest calls the waiter and complains, “How come there are no chairs at our table?!”

The waiter shrugs, “I’m sorry, but you only booked one table…”

One day an ape escaped from the zoo. They searched for it everywhere. They announced his disappearance, but no one reported seeing the ape.

At last, he was discovered in the public library. Officials of the zoo as well as the animal handlers went there as soon as possible.

They found the ape sitting at a desk with two books spread out in front of him. It was reading with great concentration. One book was the Bible and the other written by Darwin.

The zoo keepers asked the ape what he was doing. The ape replied, "I'm trying to figure out whether I am my brother's keeper or whether I am my keeper's brother?"

A customer at a restaurant summoned the waiter and said angrily, “Look at the size of this piece of beef. Last evening, I received a piece more than twice its size!”

“Where did you sit?” asked the waiter.

“By the window. Why does that matter?”

“Well, that explains it. We always serve larger portions to customers sitting by the window. It’s good advertising.”