At the movie theater, a young man returning to his seat taps the arm of a woman in the last seat in the row. “Excuse me,” he says, “but did I step on your toe on the way out?” “As a matter of fact, you did,” says the woman, expecting an apology.
“Oh good,” says the man, “then this is my row.”
"I thought I told you to keep an eye on your cousin," the mother said. "Where is he?"
"Well," her son replied thoughtfully, "if he knows as much about canoeing as he thinks he does, he's out canoeing. If he knows as little as I think he does, he's out swimming."
How many cups of coffee will this hold?” the man asked as he placed a large thermos on the lunchroom counter.
“Six cups,” advised the waitress.
“Fine,” replied the man. “Give me two cups regular, two cups black, and two with extra cream."