One day an ape escaped from the zoo. They searched for it everywhere. They announced his disappearance, but no one reported seeing the ape.
At last, he was discovered in the public library. Officials of the zoo as well as the animal handlers went there as soon as possible.
They found the ape sitting at a desk with two books spread out in front of him. It was reading with great concentration. One book was the Bible and the other written by Darwin.
The zoo keepers asked the ape what he was doing. The ape replied, "I'm trying to figure out whether I am my brother's keeper or whether I am my keeper's brother?"
A customer at a restaurant summoned the waiter and said angrily, “Look at the size of this piece of beef. Last evening, I received a piece more than twice its size!”
“Where did you sit?” asked the waiter.
“By the window. Why does that matter?”
“Well, that explains it. We always serve larger portions to customers sitting by the window. It’s good advertising.”
MICHAEL JACKSON VIRUS: Hard to identify because it is constantly altering its appearance. The virus won't harm your PC, but it will trash your car.
CONGRESSIONAL VIRUS: The computer locks up, screen splits erratically with a message appearing on each half blaming the other side for the problem.
AIRLINE VIRUS: You're in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore.
PBS VIRUS: Your PC stops every few minutes to ask for money.
Young Office Worker, to older boss: "I think you're wanted on the phone, sir."
Older Boss: "What do you mean you think?"
Young Office Worker: "Well, when I answered the phone, a voice said, 'Is that you, you old fool?'"