Best Jokes

A fellow was sitting in the doctor's waiting room, and said to himself every so often, "Lord I hope I'm sick."

After about the 5th or 6th time, the receptionist couldn't stand it any longer and asked, "Why in the world would you want to be sick Mr. Adams?"

The man replied, "I'd hate to be well and feel like this."

Gigahertz: When the rock bands lead singer swan dives from the stage but no one catches him.
Megabyte: When your mouth overrides your ability to keep your job slinging hamburgers.

Hard Drive: That trip you make to the in-laws every Sunday for dinner!
Microwave: When you lift one finger off the steering wheel to wave.

Keyboard: The main structural backbone in ship building.
Algorithms: Highly trained dancing alligators.

Semi-Conductor: Person in training to lead an orchestra.
Terabyte: When a pitbull latches on to the seat of your pants but you emerge unscathed.

C++ code language: When you earned a B but your college professor doesn't like your pink hair.
Blue Tooth: When a lack of brushing goes way beyond the yellow tooth stage.

Teacher: Johnny what time is bedtime at your house?

Johnny: 8:30 PM, ma’am.

A few moments later

Johnny’s Best Friend: So what time did you go to sleep last night?

Johnny: 1:00 AM, after watching two movies and getting a snack.