Best Jokes

I accompanied my husband when he went to get a haircut. Reading a magazine, I found a hairstyle I liked for myself. I asked the receptionist if I could take the magazine next door to make a copy of the photo.

"Leave some ID, a driver's license or a credit card," she said.

"But my husband is here getting a haircut," I explained.

"Yes," she replied. "But I need something you'll come back for."

I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked!

As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, ‘Mom, that lady isn't wearing a seat belt!'

A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.

Paddy and Michael were late getting home from the Pub and decided to take a shortcut through the Parish graveyard.

"Bejabbers" said Paddy, when stumbling over a marker, "Cassandra, 97, From Cork. She was a ripe old age!"

Michael chimed in: "Well, may the Saints preserve us, this stone reads: 'Miles, 122, from Dublin!"