Best Jokes
Favorite this joke What did the monkey say after its tail got caught in the lawnmower?
Won't be long now...
May your dressing be tasty, May your turkey be plump...
May your potatoes and gravy, Have never a lump...
May your yams be delicious And your pies take the prize...
And may your Thanksgiving dinner, Stay off your thighs!
With today's rapid advance in technology, we thought it important to bring to our readers' attention some new engineering conversions:
2000 pounds of Chinese soup: Won ton
1 millionth of a mouthwash: 1 microscope
Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement: 1 bananosecond
Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour: Knot-furlong
365.25 days of drinking low-calorie beer: 1 lite-year
Half of a large intestine: 1 semicolon
Shortest distance between two jokes: A straight line. (think about it for a moment)
1000 aches: 1 kilohurtz
Basic unit of laryngitis: 1 hoarsepower
453.6 graham crackers: 1 pound cake
1 million microphones: 1 megaphone
10 cards: 1 decacards
1000 cubic centimeters of wet socks: 1 literhosen
2 monograms: 1 diagram
8 nickels: 2 paradigms
2000 mockingbirds: 2 kilomockingbird
I submitted 10 puns to a pun website to see if I would win the top prize.
No pun in 10 did.
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