Three engineering firms were competitively bidding on Red-Sea tunnel project for the government of Egypt. The first engineer stands before the board and begins describing how he will accomplish the task. He says, "We will begin boring from both sides of the sea and join the tubes in the middle. Our plan has 10% margin of error for missing the center point but we have B-plan ready to rectify the error and finish the tunnel."
Second engineer comes in and describes his plan. "We will begin boring on both ends and meet in the middle. Our calculations may have 5% margin of error and our plan B is ready to rectify and connect the tunnel if needed."
Third engineer begins his presentation and says, "We will begin boring on both ends of the sea and meet in the middle. If successful, we'll connect the tubes and you'll have your tunnel. If we are not, then you'll have two tunnels."
On some air bases the Air Force is on one side of the field and civilian aircraft use the other side of the field, with the control tower in the middle. One day the tower received a call from an aircraft asking, "What time is it?"
The tower responded, "Who is calling?"
The aircraft replied, "What difference does it make?"
The tower replied, "It makes a lot of difference. If it is an American Airlines Flight, it is 3 o'clock... If it is an Air Force, it is 1500 hours... If it is a Navy aircraft, it is 6 bells... If it is an Army aircraft, the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 3... and if it is a Marine Corps aircraft, it's Thursday afternoon."
A Christian family was at a pet store when the owner suggested that they get a Bible Dog.
Family: Bible Dog?
Owner: Watch. Bible Dog pray! (Bible Dog starts praying.)
Owner: Bible Dog read! (Bible Dog starts reading scripture.)
Family: We'll take him.
One week later the family hosts a party. The family shows off the Bible Dog by doing the same tricks that the owner showed them. One of the guests say that's fine, but can he do normal tricks.
Family: Bible Dog sit! (Nothing happens.)
Family: Bible Dog come! (Nothing happens.)
Family: Bible Dog heel!
Bible Dog stands on his two feet and lays a hand on one of the family's head and says, "You've been saved!!!"