I'm writing a book on all the things I ought to be doing...
It's an Oughtobiograpghy.
I made soup entirely from ingredients extracted from the atmosphere...
It was a broth of fresh air!
A guy goes to the doctor, “Do you have something against a persistent hiccup?”
The doctor gives him a huge slap in the face and says, “Yes. Sorry, this is the best treatment.”
The guy holds his cheek and says, “Okay, but it’s actually my wife who’s got the issue!"
I was so bored the other day that I just started memorizing pages of the dictionary.
I learned next to nothing.