Best Jokes

Neighbor: Why do you allow your wife to drink so much?

Me: Ever seen how she acts sober?

Q: What sound does a piano make when you drop it down a mine shaft?
A: A flat miner!

I am becoming increasingly worried and concerned....

Worried and concerned that there isn't enough anxiety in my life!

As he was standing in line at the grocery store checkout counter, a friend of John's noticed he was purchasing a dozen roses and a card.

"You in trouble with Jill?" the friend asked John.

"Nope!" was John's reply. "Preventive maintenance."