Best Jokes

2 votes

Baby Billy was sitting in his mother's kitchen, watching her prepare the Thanksgiving meal.

"What are you doing?" Billy asked.

"Oh, I'm just stuffing the turkey," his mother replied.

"That's cool!" Billy said. "Are you going to hang it next to the bear?"

2 votes

CATEGORY Holiday Jokes
posted by "merk" |
2 votes

Why did Shakespeare only write in ink?

Pencils confused him... "2B or not to 2B?"

2 votes

posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |
$9.00 won 2 votes

The basketball coach stormed into the university president's office and demanded a raise right then and there.

"Please," protested the college president, "you already make more than the entire History Department."

"Yeah, maybe so, but you don't know what I have to put up with," the coach blustered. "Look."

He went out into the hall and grabbed a jock who was jogging down the hallway. "Run over to my office and see if I'm there," he ordered.

Twenty minutes later the jock returned, sweaty and out of breath. "You're not there, sir," he reported.

"Oh, I see what you mean," conceded the president, scratching his head. "I would have phoned."

2 votes

CATEGORY Sport Jokes
posted by "Leibel" |
2 votes

A couple go for a meal at a Chinese restaurant and order the "Chicken Surprise". The waiter brings the meal, served in a lidded cast iron pot.

Just as the wife is about to serve herself, the lid of the pot rises slightly and she briefly sees two beady little eyes looking around before the lid slams back down.

"Good grief, did you see that?" she asks her husband. He hadn't, so she asks him to look in the pot. He reaches for it and again the lid rises, and he sees two little eyes looking around before it slams down..

Rather perturbed, he calls the waiter over, explains what is happening, and demands an explanation.

"Please sir," says the waiter, "what did you order?"

The husband replies, "Chicken Surprise..."

"Ah! So sorry everyone," says the waiter, "I brought you Peeking Duck."

2 votes

posted by "HENNE" |