Best Jokes

2 votes
 

Bob and Marge had friends over for card night. The guys played poker while the ladies played bridge in a different room down the hall. The guys were talking about the part time jobs they had during college. After everyone except Bob had told their stories all eyes were on him.

Bob leaned in and whispered, “Marge doesn’t like it when I tell people this but I was a model back in college. There was a time when the image of my face was seen by millions across America on a daily basis. Marge thinks my sharing of this story is unwarranted boast and I should keep it to myself.”

Just then Marge piped in from other room... “You had one modeling job Bob and that’s only because your high school buddy invented the bobble head!”

2 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
posted by "Marty" |
$7.00 won 2 votes

What do you get if you mix sorbitol, gelatin, #3 red dye and artificial flavorings then post your formula online joking it's antigravity material?

You get a friendly midnight visit from men in black and get to explain you're only trying to make gummy bears.

2 votes

CATEGORY Science Jokes
Joke Won 8th Place won $7.00
posted by "Marty" |
2 votes

Little Willie came home in a sad state. He had a black eye and numerous scratches and contusions, and his clothes were a sight. His mother was horrified at the spectacle presented by her darling. There were tears in her eyes as she addressed him rebukingly:

"Oh Willie, Willie! How often have I told you not to play with that naughty Peck boy!"

Little Willie regarded his mother with an expression of deepest disgust.

"Say, ma," he objected, "do I look as if I had been playing with anybody?"

2 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
posted by "Arthur Art Will Williams" |
2 votes

According to most studies, people’s number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death.

This means to the average person, if you go to a funeral, you're better off in the casket than doing the eulogy.

2 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
posted by "iqannnylirod" |