Best Jokes

2 votes
 

As the family gathered for a big dinner together, the youngest son announced that he had just signed up at an army recruiter's office.

There were audible gasps around the table, then some laughter, as his older brothers shared their disbelief that he could handle this new situation. "Oh, come on, quit joking," snickered one. "You didn't really do that, did you?"

"You would never get through basic training," scoffed another.

The new recruit looked to his mother for help, but she was just gazing at him. When she finally spoke, she simply asked, "Do you really plan to make your own bed every morning?"

2 votes

CATEGORY Military Jokes
posted by "merk" |
$8.00 won 2 votes

A man went skydiving for the first time. "It's easy," said the instructor.

"Just count to five and pull on the main chute," the instructor continued. "If that doesn't open, count to ten and pull on the reserve chute."

"Super easy," he concluded. "Then you'll float slowly to the ground, and our bus will be there to drive you back to the airport."

The man jumped out the plane, and pulled on the main chute. Nothing happened. He pulled on the reserve chute. Nothing happened.

He looked down at the ground which was approaching fast, and said: "I bet that bus won't be there to pick me up either."

2 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
Joke Won 7th Place won $8.00
posted by "merk" |
2 votes

A stranger accosted an Irishman walking along a roadway in New Jersey. "Say, Pat, how far is it to Newark?"

"How did ye know my name?"

"I guessed it."

"Thin guess how far it is to Newark."

2 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
posted by "Arthur Art Will Williams" |
$8.00 won 2 votes

The young bullfrog, full of himself, went off to find a wife. He met a cute female porcupine, and quickly fell in love with her.

He told his father about his love, and his father was appalled! "Why would you want to marry a porcupine," he asked, bewildered.

"Well," said the young frog, "the elephant wouldn't have me."

2 votes

CATEGORY Animal Jokes
Joke Won 7th Place won $8.00
posted by "Jerfie" |