Best Jokes

Show me where Stalin is buried...

... and I'll show you a communist plot.

The government put out notices for contractors to bid for a small job they needed done. The first bid was for $750.00. The second bid was for $375.00. The third bid was for $2,375.00.

Stunned at the high price of the third bid the government agent called the contractor and asked how his bid could be so high.

"It's easy," the contractor said, "$1,000 is for me, $1,000 is for you for you, and then we hire the guy for $375 to do it."

Customer: "I received the software update you sent, but I am still getting the same error message."

Tech Support: "Did you install the update?"

Customer: "Oh, no. I'm supposed to install it to get it to work?"

Tech Support: "Yeah, it usually helps."

What did the number Zero say to the number Eight?

NICE BELT!