What happens if you turn back time?
You emit.
A lady staying in a hotel kept a pet parrot who she would often let out of the cage to fly around the room. One day, the lady was about to leave to do some errands, but had forgotten to check whether she had closed the parrot's cage door or not; because she was in a hurry and didn't have time to go back, she quickly wrote up a note, reading, "Please enter with care, Pet flies!" and taped it to the door.
By the end of the day, the cleaning lady went to meet with the hotel manager. "Have you cleaned all of the rooms?" he asked.
"Yes," she replied. "All except for the room of that one tenant with the pet flies."
My wife said, "Honey I didn’t marry you for your good looks, because you’re not so handsome, and I didn’t marry you for your money either because we’re always broke, I married you for your brain, BECAUSE it’s the little things that count."
One day a child at my four-year-old's preschool class told her classmates that she needed a 'damp towel.'
Some of the other kids thought she said a naughty word and told on her.
The teacher stepped in to explain, "If your mommy asked you to bring her a damp towel, what does she want?"
A little girl blurted out, "She means she wants that towel right now!"