Best Jokes

$8.00 won 2 votes

- Lying around, pondering the problems of the world, I realized that at my age I don't really care anymore.

- I finally got my head together, and now my body is falling apart.

- Kids in the back seat cause accidents.

- Accidents in the back seat cause kids.

- It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.

- The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

2 votes

posted by "Dan the Man 009" |
$9.00 won 2 votes

Someone just called my phone, sneezed and then hung up.

I’m getting sick and tired of these cold calls.

2 votes

posted by "wadejagz" |
$10.00 won 2 votes

If you’re American when you go into the bathroom, and you’re American when you leave the bathroom, what are you while you’re in the bathroom?


2 votes

posted by "Danny Jackson" |
$25.00 won 2 votes

A man had recently moved and was filling out forms at his local police station:

Q: Has your driver's license ever been suspended or revoked?

"No, never."

Q: Have you ever been convicted of a DUI?

"Oh yes, lots of times!"

Q: Have you ever been convicted of a driving-related felony?

"Yeah, three of them."

At this point, the officer stopped to ask: "Well wait a minute, if you have all of these DUIs and felonies, how come your license has never been suspended or revoked?"

The man responds: "Never got one."

2 votes

posted by "aod318" |