They told me I had type A blood, but turns out it was a type-O.
What do you call the ritual of giving honorary college degrees to celebrities?
Artificial Intelligence.
8am: Too tired to think.
Noon: Too tired to think.
5pm: Too tired to think.
Midnight: How do dragons blow out candles?
My girlfriend isn't the brightest bulb. One day when she was being particularly dimwitted, I said in frustration, "What's your IQ anyway?!"
She shot back defiantly, "20/20!"