Best Jokes

Eve: "My dear Jack is so forgetful."

Celia: "I agree. At the party last night I had to keep reminding him that it's you that he's engaged to and not me."

What do you call a melon that’s not allowed to get married?

A 'Can’t-elope'!

An 85-year-old widow went on a blind date with a 90-year-old man.

When she returned to her daughter's house later that night, she seemed upset.

"What happened, mother?" the daughter asked.

"I had to slap his face three times!"

"You mean he got fresh?"

"No," she answered. "I had to wake him up. I thought he was dead!"

A woman sitting at her deceased husband's funeral. A man leans in to her and ask, "Do you mind if I say a word?"

"No, go right ahead," the woman replies.

The man stands and clears his throat, then says "Plethora" and sits back down.

"Thanks," the woman says, "that means a lot."