When a strip club isn't open there should be a sign that reads:
"Sorry, We're Clothed!"
What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Anybody can roast beef.
A baby camel was born at the zoo last week and the poor thing had no hump...
So they named him Humphrey.
"Doctor!" said the woman as she loudly bounced into the room, "I want you to tell me very frankly what's wrong with me?"
He surveyed her from head to foot. "Madam," he said at length, "I've just three things to tell you. First, you need to lose at least twenty pounds. Second, you should use about half as much rouge and lipstick. And third, I'm an artist - the doctor's office is on the next floor."