Best Jokes

What do you call those who fully listen to both sides of an argument?

Neighbors.

Upon returning rather late from an annual physical my wife was wondering how it went. I replied, ”Very routine. He asked if I am continuing to exercise regularly. I replied, ‘yes.’ And am I watching my diet and eating healthy foods to which I replied, ‘of course.’ And are you limiting your alcohol consumption to 1-2 drinks per week I responded ‘absolutely.‘"

My wife then asked, “Then why are you so late?”

“I had to stop at church and go to confession.”

Opera: where somebody gets stabbed in the back, and instead of bleeding, sings.