A husband and wife had been married for 60 years and had no secrets except for one. The woman kept in her closet a shoe box that she forbade her husband from ever opening. But when she was on her deathbed - and with her blessing - he opened the box and found a crocheted doll and $60,000 in cash.
“My mother told me that the secret to a happy marriage was to never argue,” she explained. “So instead of arguing, I would keep quiet and crochet a doll.”
Her husband was touched. Only one doll was in the box, meaning that she’d been angry with him only once in 60 years. “But what about all this money?” he asked.
“Oh,” she said, “that’s the money I made from selling the dolls.”
A husband died. A few weeks later the wife died. As she got to heaven she saw her husband. She ran up to him with tears in her eyes.
"Darling, how I've missed you!"
The husband extends his arms stopping her from embracing him and says, "Whoa there woman, the contract was until death!"
A husband and wife are on the 9th green when suddenly she collapses from a heart attack. "Help me dear," she groans to her husband.
The husband calls 911 on his cell phone, talks for a few minutes, picks up his putter, and lines up his putt. His wife raises her head off the green and stares at him. "I'm dying over here and you're putting?"
"Don't worry dear," says the husband calmly, "they found a doctor on the second hole and he's coming to help you."
"Well, how long will it take for him to get here?" she asks feebly.
"No time at all," says her husband. "Everybody's already agreed to let him play through."