Best Jokes

$8.00 won 2 votes

I just killed a huge spider running across the floor with my shoe.

I don't care how big the spider is, no one steals my shoe!

2 votes

posted by "wadejagz" |
2 votes

An old man was a witness in a burglary case. The defense lawyer asked Richard, "Did you see my client commit this burglary?"

"Yes," said Richard, "I saw him plainly take the goods."

The lawyer asks Richard again, "Richard, this happened at night. Are you sure you saw my client commit this crime?"

"Yes," says Richard, "I saw him do it."

Then the lawyer asks Richard, "Richard listen, you are 80 years old and your eye sight probably is bad. Just how far can you see at night?"

Richard says, "I can see the moon, how far is that?"

2 votes

CATEGORY Elderly Jokes
posted by "Merkv814" |
2 votes

A priest and a homeless man are standing on the road in a heavy storm, holding a sign that says "Turn Back, the end is Nigh!"

A car passes them, the driver yelling, "Get off the road you lunatics!"

As it rounds the corner a loud crash is heard.

The homeless man then tells the priest, "I told you we should've written 'Bridge out'!"

2 votes

posted by "Jenmo1" |
2 votes

I was invited to a wedding and when I get to the hotel, I realized there were two doors.
1st door it was Bride Relatives. 2nd door it was groom relatives.

So I decided to enter the groom's door and I found two door again.
1st Ladies. 2nd Men.

I entered men's Door and once again I found two doors.
1st people with gifts. 2nd people without gifts.

So I used to the 2nd door (people without gifts) and then I found myself outside the hotel.

2 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
posted by "Mahlatse" |