With today's rapid advance in technology, we thought it important to bring to our readers' attention some new engineering conversions:
2000 pounds of Chinese soup: Won ton
1 millionth of a mouthwash: 1 microscope
Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement: 1 bananosecond
Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour: Knot-furlong
365.25 days of drinking low-calorie beer: 1 lite-year
Half of a large intestine: 1 semicolon
Shortest distance between two jokes: A straight line. (think about it for a moment)
1000 aches: 1 kilohurtz
Basic unit of laryngitis: 1 hoarsepower
453.6 graham crackers: 1 pound cake
1 million microphones: 1 megaphone
10 cards: 1 decacards
1000 cubic centimeters of wet socks: 1 literhosen
2 monograms: 1 diagram
8 nickels: 2 paradigms
2000 mockingbirds: 2 kilomockingbird
I submitted 10 puns to a pun website to see if I would win the top prize.
No pun in 10 did.
Fresh out of Yale and having just passed the BAR exam, Bobby was sitting in his first interview with a prestigious law firm CEO.
CEO: "I see that you are fresh out of Yale, have just passed the BAR exam, and have an excellent academic record with A's in every course. But what we are looking for is someone with a few years of real-world experience."
Bobby thought for a moment and replied: " Well that's okay, I actually I went to college for art, I found that resume' online, and I made up the story about taking the BAR exam.
CEO: "So what you're saying is you tell creative lies that stretch the truth though research and story telling?"
Bobby: "Umm.... I guess?"
CEO: "Can you start work on Monday?"
My best friend is coming up from California. He's a great guy, lots of laughs, but he does tell some really cheesy jokes!
Ah, Good Ole Monterey Jack!