Best Jokes
Favorite this joke A couple had been married for 45 years and had raised a brood of 11 children and were blessed with 22 grandchildren.
When asked the secret for staying together all that time, the wife replies, "Many years ago we made a promise to each other: the first one to pack up and leave has to take all the kids...."
I have changed my system for labeling homemade freezer meals. I used to carefully note in large clear letters, "Meatloaf" or "Pot Roast" or "Steak and Vegetables or "Chicken and Dumplings" or "Beef Pot Pie."
However, I used to get frustrated when I asked my husband what he wanted for dinner because he never asked for any of those things. So, I decided to stock the freezer with what he really likes.
If you look in my freezer now you'll see a whole new set of labels. You'll find dinners with neat little tags that say: "Whatever," "Anything," "I Don't Know," "I Don't Care," "Something Good," or "Food"... no matter what my husband replies, I know I now have it.
My sister gave birth in a state-of-the-art delivery room.
It was so high tech that the baby came out cordless!
An optometrist was instructing a new employee on how to charge a customer...
"As you are fitting his glasses, if he asks how much they cost, you say '$75.'"
"If his eyes don't flutter, say, 'For the frames. The lenses will be $50.'"
"If his eyes still don't flutter, you add ...'Each.'"
During the geography class on the Eastern Mediterranean, the teacher asked Little Johnny, "What are the Phoenicians noted for?"
Little Johnny paused and then replied, " For their blinds!"
Free Daily Joke