Best Jokes

The priest said to the poor farmer, "If you had a horse, would you give it to the Lord?"

"Yes."

"And if you had a cow?"

"Absolutely."

"And a goat?"

"Sure."

"A pig?"

"Now, that's not fair!" protested the farmer. "You know I have a pig!"

One night, a lady stumbled into the police station with a black eye. She claimed she heard a noise in her backyard and went to investigate. The next thing she knew she was hit in the eye and knocked out cold.

An officer was sent to her house to investigate and he returned 1-1/2 hours later with a black eye.

"Did you get hit by the same person?" his captain asked.

"No," he replied. "I stepped on the same rake."

We gathered at our four year old's birthday party. I asked the birthday girl, "What does a dog say?"

She answered, "Ruff ruff."

"What does a cat say?"

"Meow meow."

I asked one more, "What does the duck say?"

"Quack quack?"

"Very good... okay, one more. What does your grandma say?"

She answered with the loud voice, "OH MY GOD!"