Best Jokes

2 votes

We gathered at our four year old's birthday party. I asked the birthday girl, "What does a dog say?"

She answered, "Ruff ruff."

"What does a cat say?"

"Meow meow."

I asked one more, "What does the duck say?"

"Quack quack?"

"Very good... okay, one more. What does your grandma say?"

She answered with the loud voice, "OH MY GOD!"

2 votes

CATEGORY Family Jokes
posted by "TNGUYEN" |
$9.00 won 2 votes

A guy walked into a bar and noticed they had a huge Silver Back Gorilla sitting at the end of the bar on a short wide barstool.

The guy asked the barkeep why they had a gorilla. The bartender replied, “That’s Joe-Joe, he’s trained to give CPR if someone drinks too much. So what’ll you have there buddy?”

The man replied, “A Shirley Temple.”

2 votes

posted by "Marty" |
$12.00 won 2 votes

"Have you got anything to drink?"

“Water.”

"I meant something harder?"

“Ice.”

2 votes

posted by "S.Sovetts" |
2 votes

Six retired friends were playing poker when one of them loses $1500 on a single hand, clutches his chest and drops dead at the table. One of the guys says, “We’ve got to go tell his wife, who’s going to do it?”

They draw straws and Bob picks the short one. They tell him to be discreet and gentle and not to make a bad situation any worse. "Leave it to me," Bob says.

He goes over to his friend’s house and knocks on the door. When the dead man’s wife answers, Bob says, "Your husband just lost $1500 and is afraid to come home."

"$1500? Tell him to drop dead!" snarls the wife.

"I'll go tell him." says Bob.

2 votes

posted by "HENNE" |