Best Jokes
Favorite this joke "Why is it that a judge has so little time left for himself?"
"I suppose it's because he is so busy."
"Wrong. It's because he hands out so much time to other people."
The air traffic controller, working a busy pattern, told the 727 on downwind to make a three-sixty (usually done to provide spacing between aircraft).
The pilot of the 727 complained, "Do you know it costs us two thousand dollars to make a three-sixty in this airplane?"
Without missing a beat the controller replied, "Roger, give me four thousand dollars worth!"
My dog sleeps about 20 hours a day.
He has his food prepared for him. He can eat whenever he wants.
His meals are provided at no cost to him.
He visits the Dr. once a year for his checkup, and again during the year if any medical needs arise.
For this he pays nothing and nothing is required of him.
He lives in a nice neighborhood in a house that is much larger than he needs and he is not required to do any upkeep.
If he makes a mess, someone else cleans it up.
He has his choice of luxurious places to sleep.
He receives these accommodations absolutely free.
He is living like a King, and has absolutely no expenses whatsoever.
All of his costs are picked up by others who go out and earn a living every day.
I was just thinking about all this, and suddenly it hit me like a brick ... I think my dog is a member of Congress!
On his way out of church, Frank stopped at the door to speak to the minister. "Would it be right," he asked, "for a person to profit from the mistakes of another?"
"Absolutely not!" replied the pastor.
"In that case," said the young man, "I wonder if you'd consider returning the hundred dollars I paid you to marry my wife and me last July?"
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