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Favorite this joke A guy walked into a bar and noticed they had a huge Silver Back Gorilla sitting at the end of the bar on a short wide barstool.
The guy asked the barkeep why they had a gorilla. The bartender replied, “That’s Joe-Joe, he’s trained to give CPR if someone drinks too much. So what’ll you have there buddy?”
The man replied, “A Shirley Temple.”
"Have you got anything to drink?"
“Water.”
"I meant something harder?"
“Ice.”
Six retired friends were playing poker when one of them loses $1500 on a single hand, clutches his chest and drops dead at the table. One of the guys says, “We’ve got to go tell his wife, who’s going to do it?”
They draw straws and Bob picks the short one. They tell him to be discreet and gentle and not to make a bad situation any worse. "Leave it to me," Bob says.
He goes over to his friend’s house and knocks on the door. When the dead man’s wife answers, Bob says, "Your husband just lost $1500 and is afraid to come home."
"$1500? Tell him to drop dead!" snarls the wife.
"I'll go tell him." says Bob.
Ron and John were building a house. John was on a ladder, nailing. He'd reach into his nail pouch, pull out a nail, look at it, and either toss it over his shoulder or proceed to nail it into the wood.
Ron couldn't stand it any longer and yelled, "Why are you throwing some of the nails away?"
John explained, "When I pull it out of my nail pouch, if it's pointed toward me, I throw it away. If it's pointed toward the house, then I can use it."
Ron replied, "What's wrong with you? Don't throw away the nails that are pointed toward you! They're for the other side of the house."
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