After a trial had been going on for three days, Harrison, the man accused of committing the crimes, stood up and approached the judge's bench.
"Your Honor, I would like to change my plea from 'innocent' to 'guilty' of the charges."
The judge angrily banged his fist on the desk. "If you're guilty, why didn't you say so in the first place and save this court a lot of time and inconvenience?" he demanded.
Harrison looked up wide-eyed and stated, "Well, when the trial started I thought I was innocent, but that was before I heard all the evidence against me."
During training exercises, the Lieutenant was driving down a muddy back road when he encountered another car stuck in the mud, with a red-faced Colonel at the wheel.
"Your jeep stuck, sir?" asked the Lieutenant as he pulled alongside.
"Nope," replied the Colonel, coming over and handing him the keys, "Yours is!"