Best Jokes

Please, always be alert and watch out for the people around you.

Yesterday, when I was on a sidewalk making my way home, a man came to me and drew scissors.

I was panicked so I immediately responded with a rock.

Imagine if I was not alert, I might have accidentally answered with paper and lost the game.

I'm kind of tired of being an amateur crastinater...

I'm thinking of turning pro, but I'm going to put that decision off for awhile.

Halloween. The door bell rings and a man answers it. Here stands this plain but well dressed kid, saying, "Trick or Treat!"

The man asks the kid what he is dressed up as. The kid replies, "I'm an IRS agent."

Then he takes 40 percent of the man's candy, leaves, and doesn't say thank you.

There was a Japanese man who went to America for sightseeing. On the last day, he hailed a cab and told the driver to drive to the airport. During the journey, a Honda drove past the taxi.

Thereupon, the man leaned out of the window excitedly and yelled, "Honda, very fast! Made in Japan! "

After a while, a Toyota sped past the taxi. Again, the Japanese man leaned out of the window and yelled, "Toyota, very fast! Made in Japan! "

And then a Mitsubishi sped past the taxi. For the third time, the Japanese leaned out of the window and yelled, "Mitsubishi, very fast! Made in Japan! "

The driver was a little angry, but he kept quiet. And this went on for quite a number of cars. Finally, the taxi came to the airport. The fare was US$300.
The Japanese exclaimed, "Wah... so expensive! "

There upon, the driver yelled back, "Meter, very fast! Made in Japan! "