Best Jokes

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There’s literally no way...

To know how many chameleons are in your house.

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CATEGORY Animal Jokes
posted by "iqannnylirod" |
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It was Palm Sunday but because of a sore throat, 5-year-old Johnny stayed home from church with a sitter. When the family returned home, they were carrying several palm fronds. Johnny asked them what they were for.

"People held them over Jesus' head as he walked by," his father told him.

"Wouldn't you know it," Johnny fumed, "the one Sunday I don't go and He shows up!"

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posted by "wadejagz" |
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"Well, I reckon you've been a pretty good horse," said the farmer. "You work hard and I ain't had to call the vet on you much. I only wish you pulled the plow a little faster."

"NO!" said the horse, "I said 'feedbag' not 'feedback'."

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CATEGORY Animal Jokes
posted by "HENNE" |
1 votes

The schoolteacher asked her class of young children to name one thing that was needed at their home.

“Jim?”

“A Nintendo Wii!”

“Very good, Jim. How about you, Ann?”

"A Super Barbie doll’s house,” said Ann.

“That sounds nice, Ann. Little Johnny?”

Little Johnny remained silent.

“Surely there must be something you can think of, Little Johnny?”

“No, nothing.”

“Really, Little Johnny? You do surprise me.”

“I know it’s true for a fact,” insisted Little Johnny. “Because last week my dad came home drunk, was sick all over the carpet, and my mom said it was the last thing we needed.”

1 votes

posted by "iqannnylirod" |