Best Jokes

Master: That shirt looks soiled, didn't you wash it?

Servant: I did! But while i was taking it to the shop for ironing i dropped it on the ground!

Master: You will have to wash it again!

Servant: Again, Sir?

Master: I'm a stickler for cleanliness. So anything that falls on the ground has to be washed with soap and water.

Servant: I'll remember that.

The next morning...

Servant: Sir, here is your newspaper.

Master: Yes! But why is it soaking wet, You idiot?

Servant: While i was bringing it to you i dropped it on the ground.... But I remembered your instructions and washed it thoroughly with soap and water.

A New York businessman buys a newspaper, glances at the front page, throws it away.

Next day, he does the same thing. This goes on for days.

Eventually, the newspaper guy asks, "Why do you do keep doing that?"

"Oh, I'm just checking for an obituary"

"But obituaries aren't even on the front page!"

"Oh, the one I'm looking for will be."

It's been really hot this summer.

The other day I saw a robin pulling a worm out of the ground using potholders.