Best Jokes

On a visit to the zoo, a small 3 year old boy passes the stork exhibit and looks up at the birds intently.

As his family then moves on, he turns to his father and says, "Gee Daddy, they didn't even recognize me."

We were celebrating the 100th anniversary of our church, and several former pastors and the bishop were in attendance.

At one point, our minister had the children gather at the altar for a talk about the importance of the day. He began by asking, "Does anyone know what the bishop does?"

There was silence. Finally, one little boy answered gravely, "He's the one you can move diagonally."

A New York businessman buys a newspaper, glances at the front page, throws it away.

Next day, he does the same thing. This goes on for days.

Eventually, the newspaper guy asks, "Why do you do keep doing that?"

"Oh, I'm just checking for an obituary"

"But obituaries aren't even on the front page!"

"Oh, the one I'm looking for will be."

It's been really hot this summer.

The other day I saw a robin pulling a worm out of the ground using potholders.