Best Jokes

A lady who was speeding had an officer pull her to the side of the road. She didn't have her seat belt on so as soon as she stopped, she quickly slipped it on before the officer got to her window.

After talking to her about speeding, the officer said, "I see you are wearing your seat belt. Do you believe in wearing it at all times?"

"Yes, I do, officer," she replied.

"Well," asked the officer, "do you always do it up with it looped through your steering wheel?"

Why was Santa's little helper depressed?

Because he had low elf esteem.

Why was the absent minded lawyer thrown out of court?

He forgot his law suit.

Patient: "Doctor, all day I've been feeling like a mouth organ."

Dr: "That's funny, there was a lady in this morning with the same problem."

Patient: "Yep, that would have been our Monica."