Best Jokes

What is the definition of the word 'jury'?

Twelve people who determine which client has the better attorney.

BOSS: "What should we call this giant advertising board?"

PHIL: "A philboard!"

BILL: "No, wait... I have a better idea!"

A man told his wife that when he died, he wished to be buried with all his money. He died and was buried. The wife was asked if she indeed buried the husband with all the money.

She said she had done exactly what the husband had requested her to do. She said, “My husband had two million dollars when he died. If you dug up his body today, you would find his bones and a check for two million dollars!"

Me: I'm very sorry, but my dog ate my homework.

Computer Science Professor: Your dog ate your coding assignment?

Me: ...

Prof: ...

Me: Well, it took him a couple bytes.