Best Jokes

A man told his wife that when he died, he wished to be buried with all his money. He died and was buried. The wife was asked if she indeed buried the husband with all the money.

She said she had done exactly what the husband had requested her to do. She said, “My husband had two million dollars when he died. If you dug up his body today, you would find his bones and a check for two million dollars!"

Me: I'm very sorry, but my dog ate my homework.

Computer Science Professor: Your dog ate your coding assignment?

Me: ...

Prof: ...

Me: Well, it took him a couple bytes.

Father: Son, I donated all your toys to the children's home.

Son: Why did you do that?

Father: So you will not be bored there.

A little boy visits his farmer grandpa and watches him milk the cows.

The next day one of the cows runs away and grandpa is really upset about it.

“Don’t worry, Grandpa,” says the boy helpfully, “she can’t have gone very far with an empty tank.”