Best Jokes

A tired traveler pulls into a hotel around midnight. Very tired after a long day's trip, he asks the clerk for a single room. As the clerk fills out the paperwork, the man looks around and sees a gorgeous blonde sitting in the lobby. He tells the clerk to wait, and he disappears into the lobby.

After a minute he comes back, with the woman on his arm. “Fancy meeting my 'wife' here,” he says to the clerk. “Guess I will need a double room for the night.”

The next morning, he comes to settle his bill, and finds the amount to be over $3000. “What is the meaning of this?” he yells at the clerk. “I have only been here for one night!”

“Yes,” says the clerk, “but your 'wife' has been here for three weeks!”

My niece, Sue, plans to open a discount grocery store where everything expires in a week...

She's going to call it Best By...

Pete: Someone just stole $125 worth of groceries from my Jeep!

Bob: Well, your Jeep has no top. What did you expect?

Pete: No, no, it wasn't that... I forgot to lock my glove box!

Him: "Your little brother just saw me kiss you. What can I give him to keep him from telling your parents?

Her: "He generally gets 5 dollars."