I used to work in an art supply store. We sold artists' canvas by the yard, and you could get it in either of two widths: 36 inches or 48 inches.
Customer: "Can you please cut some canvas for me?"
Me: "Certainly, what width?"
Customer (confused and slightly annoyed): "Scissors?"
Electricians are always watching the news...
They like to keep up with current events.
Laughter is the best medicine...
Unless you have broken ribs.
My wife's cooking is so bad...
How bad?
So bad, the flies are taking up a collection to get the screen door fixed.