Our favorite restaurant has a waitress whose name-tag reads "Beautiful".
"Is that really your name?" I asked her.
"No," she admitted. "But if people are going to holler at me all day, I can at least be called something I like."
My boss didn't come in to work today. He called this morning and said he was having a vision problem.
When I asked what was wrong, he replied, "I just can't see myself at work today."
I’m going to be buried up in the Boston area when I die.
My mother had plotted it for years.
Yo momma is so ugly, that your daddy stays home just so he don't have to kiss her goodbye!