Best Jokes

My niece, Sue, plans to open a discount grocery store where everything expires in a week...

She's going to call it Best By...

Pete: Someone just stole $125 worth of groceries from my Jeep!

Bob: Well, your Jeep has no top. What did you expect?

Pete: No, no, it wasn't that... I forgot to lock my glove box!

Him: "Your little brother just saw me kiss you. What can I give him to keep him from telling your parents?

Her: "He generally gets 5 dollars."

A minister waited in line to have his car filled with gas just before a long holiday weekend. The attendant worked quickly, but there were many cars ahead of him in front of the service station. Finally, the attendant motioned him toward a vacant pump.

"Reverend," said the young man, "Sorry about the delay. It seems as if everyone waits until the last minute to get ready for a long trip."

The minister chuckled, "I know what you mean. It's the same in my business."