Best Jokes

If pro is the opposite of con, what's the opposite of progress?
Congress!

A man and a woman are eating in a restaurant. Suddenly, the woman got something stuck in her throat, causing her to choke. The man rushes outside, cuts a limb off a tree and whacks the woman across the back with it, dislodging the object in her throat. The headline in the paper read "Man gives woman the hemlock maneuver"

During a recent password audit by a company, it was found that an employee was using the following password: "MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacramento".

When asked why she had such a long password, the employee rolled her eyes and said, "Hello! It has to be at least 8 characters long and include at least one capital."

One who runs in front of the car gets tired. One who runs behind gets exhausted.