Best Jokes

There was this Antartian that wanted to take up a new winter hobby. She went to the library and started studying all about ice fishing. Finally, she went out on the ice, set up all her stuff, and sat down. All of a sudden, a bellowing voice from above said, 'There are no fish under the ice."

Startled, she got up and moved to a different spot. Right as she began to sit down, the voice from above spoke again, "There are no fish under the ice."

Frustrated, she got up and walked a long ways away onto a new patch of ice. She sat down and set up all of her gear. Once again, the voice spoke. "There are no fish under the ice."

Now the Antartian was very mad. "God, is that you? she asked.

"No! It's the manager of the ice skating rink." the voice replied.

When I babysit for my minister's three-year-old, one of our favorite games is "Go Fish".

One evening, after winning several rounds, she kept bragging about how good she was.

Jokingly, I said to her, "I'm going to have to teach you a little humility."

Immediately she looked up and asked, "How do you play that?"

Two clowns are eating a cannibal.

One turns to the other and says, “I think that we got the joke wrong.”

If I eat healthy today, then I can have one piece of candy as a reward.

If I eat unhealthy, I can have the whole bag.