Best Jokes

Four engineers where riding in a car when it just stopped.

The chemical engineer said, "We need to drain/refill all the fluids".
The electrical engineer said, "No, we need to rewire it".
The mechanical engineer said, "Lets rebuild it".

They all turned to the Microsoft engineer and he said, "Why don't we all get out of the car and back in....."

My wife just sent me a strange text message.

"There's a man on the bus next to me who keeps farting."

I replied, "That's okay. At least he isn't on your bus."

Husband: "My shaving brush is very stiff now. I wonder what is wrong with it?"

Wife: "I don't know. It was nice and soft when I painted the bird cage yesterday."

I keep hearing on the radio that I can make big money flipping houses...

But they never say how much I have to pay for the big spatula!