I got a dog and named it "Twenty Miles". This way I can tell people that I walk twenty miles everyday.
First Martian: That girl over there rolled her eyes at me. What should I do?
Second Martian: If you were a real gentleman, you'd pick them and roll them back to her!
What is the soft mushy stuff between a shark's teeth?
Slow swimmers.
I just started a support group where no one sees or hears each other.
I don't know how many members there are because I don't hear or see any of them.