Best Jokes

Four old Catholic women sit and brag about their sons. The first Catholic woman tells her friends, "My son is a priest. When he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father'."

The second Catholic woman chirps, "My son is a bishop. Whenever he walks into a room, people call him 'Your Grace'."

The third Catholic mother says, "My son is a cardinal. Whenever he walks into a room, he's called 'Your Eminence'."

The fourth Catholic woman says, "My incredibly handsome son is 6' 2 with broad, square shoulders, good manners and impeccable style. Whenever he walks into a room, women say, 'Oh my God'."

Teacher: If there are seven flies and I hit one with a ruler, how many are left?

Little Johnny: Just the squashed one.

Some people have a hard time understanding how Noah could fit all those animals inside the ark...

But what amazes me is that Noah built the ark without a single power tool.

Marriage is like a card game. They start with a pair, he shows a diamond, she shows a flush, and they end up with a full house.