Best Jokes

Ladies and gentlemen, hobos and tramps,
Bug-eyed mosquitoes and bowlegged ants!
I'm about to tell you a story I've never heard before,
So pull up a chair and sit on the floor.
Admission is free, so pay at the door.

One fine day, in the middle of the night,
two, dead boys got up to fight.
Back to back, they faced each other,
drew their swords and shot each other.
A deaf policeman heard the noise,
and saved the lives of the two dead boys.
If you don't believe my lies are true,
ask the blind man, he saw it too!

A speeding driver was pulled over by a policeman. He asked the policeman, "Why was I pulled over when I wasn't the only one speeding."

The policeman replied, "Have you ever been fishing?"

The man then said, "Yes, I have."

"Well, have you ever caught all the fish?" asked the policeman.

I'm writing a book about beer.

I'm on my fourth draft.

The owner of the tuxedo store kept hovering over me when i was browsing, so I asked him to leave me alone.

He said, “Fine, suit yourself.”