Best Jokes

Splenda Daddy - a person who tries to be a Sugar Daddy, but just doesn't have enough funds for it.

A young girl asked her father if all fairy tales begin with "Once Upon A Time?"

"No," he replied. "A whole lot of them begin with 'If elected, I promise ...'"

Three men were at a bar discussing coincidences.

The first man said, "My wife was reading a 'Tale of Two Cities' and she gave birth to twins!"

"That's funny," the second man remarked, "my wife was reading 'The Three Musketeers' and she gave birth to triplets!"

The third man shouted, "Good God, I have to rush home!"

When asked what the problem was, he exclaimed, "When I left the house, my wife was reading Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves!!!"

We received the report today that it is no longer necessary to stake tomatoes. Just dissolve a Viagra tablet in the water and they stand up strait and tall!