Best Jokes

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Grampa (attempting to fix a toy): "Vinnie, give me your free hand."

Vinnie: "I don't have free hands, Grampa."

Grampa: "Sure you do, Vinnie. Just give me your free hand."

Vinnie (exasperated): "I don't HAVE free hands, Grampa! I only have TWO!"

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CATEGORY Kid Jokes
posted by "Dan the Man 009" |
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In the HR department in the large corporation where I work, I receive absentee slips for all the employees.

Over the years I’ve heard every excuse, but the other day I found one in my voicemail that I never heard before.

“I won’t be in today,” said my absent coworker. “I’ll call back later with an excuse.”

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CATEGORY Work Jokes
posted by "Dan the Man 009" |
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What did the snake say when he was offered a piece of cheese for dinner?

"Thank you, I'll just have a slither."

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CATEGORY Animal Jokes
posted by "RS" |
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"Hey, man! Please call me a taxi."
 
"You got it! (Pause) Sir, YOU are a taxi!"

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posted by "Funny joker" |