Best Jokes
Favorite this joke Grampa (attempting to fix a toy): "Vinnie, give me your free hand."
Vinnie: "I don't have free hands, Grampa."
Grampa: "Sure you do, Vinnie. Just give me your free hand."
Vinnie (exasperated): "I don't HAVE free hands, Grampa! I only have TWO!"
In the HR department in the large corporation where I work, I receive absentee slips for all the employees.
Over the years I’ve heard every excuse, but the other day I found one in my voicemail that I never heard before.
“I won’t be in today,” said my absent coworker. “I’ll call back later with an excuse.”
What did the snake say when he was offered a piece of cheese for dinner?
"Thank you, I'll just have a slither."
"Hey, man! Please call me a taxi."
"You got it! (Pause) Sir, YOU are a taxi!"
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