Best Jokes

What did the Cyclop say to a suspect?

"I got my eye on you!"

You know how to tell that the invisible man is lying?

Easy. You can see right through him!

A rather awkward freshman finally got up the nerve to ask a pretty junior for a dance at the homecoming. She gave him the once-over and said, "Sorry, I won't dance with a child."

"Oh I'm sorry," responded the underclassman, "I didn't realize you were pregnant."

Grampa (attempting to fix a toy): "Vinnie, give me your free hand."

Vinnie: "I don't have free hands, Grampa."

Grampa: "Sure you do, Vinnie. Just give me your free hand."

Vinnie (exasperated): "I don't HAVE free hands, Grampa! I only have TWO!"