Best Jokes

Last year I replaced several windows in my house and they were the expensive double-pane energy efficient kind. But this week I got a call from the contractor complaining that his work has been completed for a whole year and I had yet to pay for them.

Boy oh boy did we go 'round. Just because I'm young doesn't mean that I am automatically stupid. So, I proceeded to tell him just what his fast talking sales guy had told me last year, that in one year the windows would pay for themselves. There was silence on the other end of the line so I just hung up and I haven't heard back.

Guess I must have won that silly argument.

Having lost weight over the past few years, a lady was discarding things from her wardrobe that no longer fit. Her seven-year-old niece was watching as she held up a huge pair of slacks.

"Wow," the lady said, "I must have worn these when I was 183."

Her niece looked puzzled, then asked, "How old are you now?"

"How was your first day of seventh grade son?"

"It was great Mom, I found out I’ll be learning sex education in my astronomy class. The teacher asked if we had a favorite star and also said beginning tomorrow we’ll be discussing heavenly bodies!"

A father asked his daughter, "What do you see in that boy? That kid has his head screwed on backwards!"

"No he doesn’t dad, that’s how kids wear ball caps these days."