Sign on church bulletin board in front of a church in a small Wyoming town...
THIS SUNDAY: DO YOU KNOW WHAT HELL IS?
COME AND HEAR OUR NEW ORGANIST.
I got a dog and named it "Twenty Miles". This way I can tell people that I walk twenty miles everyday.
First Martian: That girl over there rolled her eyes at me. What should I do?
Second Martian: If you were a real gentleman, you'd pick them and roll them back to her!
What is the soft mushy stuff between a shark's teeth?
Slow swimmers.