Best Jokes

Patrons at the zoo were astonished to see an old man jump over the bars of the lion's cage. Seemingly oblivious to the danger, he walked among the fierce creatures holding the latest bestselling book in his hands, intently perusing its contents. The spectators were beside themselves.

"What in the world is he doing?" shouted one.

"Is he crazy? He's going to get killed!" yelled another.

"Don't worry about him," replied the man's son. "That's just my dad. He likes to read between the lions."

Two guys grow up together but after college one moves to Michigan, the other to Florida. They agree to meet every ten years in Vero Beach and play golf.

At age 30, they finish their round of golf and go to lunch.
“Where you wanna go?”
“Hooters.”
“Why?”
“Well, you know, they got the pretty girls there."
“OK.”

Ten years later at age 40 they play.
“Where you wanna go?”
“Hooters.
“Why?”
“Well, you know, they got cold beer and the big screen TVs and everybody has a little action on the games.”
“OK.”

Ten years later at age 50 they play.
“Where you wanna go?”
“Hooters.”
“Why?”
“The food is pretty good and there is plenty of parking.”
”OK.”

At age 60 they play.
“Where you wanna go?”
“Hooters.”
“Why?”
“Wings are half price.”
“OK”

At age 70 they play.
“Where you wanna go?”
“Hooters.”
“Why?”
“They have 6 handicapped spaces right by the door.”
“OK.”

At age 80 they play.
“Where you wanna go?”
“Hooters.”
“Why?”
“We’ve never been there before."

I saw a documentary on how ships are kept together...

It was riveting.

I was going to join the debate team, but somebody talked me out of it.