Customer: “Can I please get your name and position with the company?”
Employee: “This is Ryan, and I am sitting down.”
Mom: Why did you decide to study earthquakes?
Tom: I just cracked up!
Sammy: Why did you steal that broom?
Tammy: I flew off the handle!
Nan: Why did you knock over the Chinese Checkers?
Dan: I lost my marbles!
Jenny: Why did you chase that squirrel?
Lenny: I went nuts!
Jon: Why did you throw all those baseballs?
Ron: I pitched a fit!
Kay: Why did you burn the pancakes?
Jay: I flipped out!
Jerry: Why did you jump in the pool?
Terry: I went off the deep end!
Yo' momma so dumb, that she thinks the word dumb is spelled D-U-M.
I approached her and said that there was a silent 'B' at the end of the word.
She said, “There is? Well be quiet then. We don’t want it to wake up and start stinging us!”
Fric: I was going to dance down a spiral staircase for your birthday, but I decided not to.
Frac: Why not?
Fric: Because I am a Fred Astaires.